Developed in the late 1950s and built upon Freud's theory, Erik Erikson developed these eight stages of psychosocial development from birth through finality (death). In this theory, social, biological, and psychosocial factors influence the development of individuals' personalities throughout their lifespans. I'm providing 3 Ways to apply Erikson's theory while navigating your life! (Read more to find out!)
Now that you have the basic foundation of Erikson's eight stages of development, quickly take a look at how it's visually organized below:
At each stage, we face a conflict. I like to imagine this as if we are guided down a long journey through life, and at certain points through development, we must stop at "forks in the road" to examine the conflict in that stage.
As we gaze down each path, there are two signs labeling the associated "basic conflict" causing us tension. In the most simplistic terms, there is a "success" and "fail" outcome. Erikson's theory implies that, as we develop our personalities, we face conflict between meeting our psychological needs within our surrounding environment.
During the pandemic, and I speak from direct clinical experience, we experienced generations of humans becoming arrested in development within the K-12 ages. Why did this happen? Well, humans need to "play" to socialize to learn how to manage each conflict successfully, with others in social environments, to meet their needs. Erikson's theory states that we need to continue this throughout our entire lifespan. From birth to death, we are continuously developing, and therefore, moving through these conflicts, or else becoming "arrested in development" as others surpass into the next virtuous stage. This, according to this theory, means you are successfully establishing a healthy social personality throughout your human development by accomplishing each virtue in each stage and applying the growth to the next.
For example, during early adulthood, we are appropriately joining those in that stage of tension once we accomplish the last stage's virtue. Those "on track" are within the stages' age ranges. Those who are "delayed" or "arrested" are outliers; however, that doesn't mean you are doomed. If you feel you need professional support (and if you are in this situation I encourage you to seek it), then you're already a step forward in your progression towards the next stage! A psychotherapist who meets your present needs will guide you through if you choose to take action and apply the therapeutic tools outside of the session. Additionally, as a qualified professional, I highly encourage you to challenge any felt challenges when it comes to socializing. Again, humans need "social play" to not only build distress tolerance (DBT) but to meet needs to accomplish their stagnant stage.
Within your control, you are to examine your narrative and assess where you may feel you are in your eight stages of development. This is required before proceeding, so I encourage you to set aside 2-5 minutes to examine the chart above and reflect on your present-day choices, emotions, relationships, behaviors, thoughts, goals, etc. Sit with anything that feels uncomfortable and practice critically thinking about your needs, right now. Today, it's fine if you are delayed or arrested; there are millions of other humans out there who can share their stories and empathize with you #tellyourstory.
Remember, You are already succeeding by reading this article, applying self-compassion as we speak, and continuing to assess how to apply these next 3 ways to use Erikson's theory in your life to meet your virtuous needs!
1. Explore Social Environments That Meet Your Needs in Your Stage.
Alright, let's use a male-identifying character named Bernard as an example. Bernard is 45 years old, lives alone, considers himself isolated from others, and remains arrested in the "intimacy vs. isolation" conflict stage (stage 6). He feels low in his mood and is beginning to lose motivation and hope. He feels "stuck" and cannot figure out a solution to move himself forward. Bernard admits he's been in his finance career for 20 years and, although he feels a change in his routine may be the solution, he chooses to remain in his current routine due to ease. We can more than likely all imagine a Bernard we've either known, do know, or have observed.
As it applies to Erikson's theory and these 3 tools; Bernard needs to examine social environments to help him meet his virtue within his conflict, "love"!
Right now, he is isolated, correct? He's arrested in isolation, so he is continuing down the "fork in the road of his journey" that essentially turns into a never-ending, looping treadmill facing toward a blank wall.
In other words; if he doesn't identify how to meet his virtue of intimacy, we will remain in that stage and he either has to surrender to that or change. His routine feels redundant because he chooses to stick to behaviors that make him comfortable, even though it isn't feeling fulfilling for him. Bernard isn't the only person who is, was, or is heading towards, authoring his life story like this. This is incredibly common at any stage. During childhood, we don't have as much within our control to meet our needs, so that is why family systems are so detrimental to understanding our narratives. We do what we can as children to meet our needs with resources we are born with and provided with by our primary caregivers (secure attachment figures).
Maybe Bernard needs to find his intimacy through self-love, or maybe it is learning to love another. Either way, once he meets that virtue, he'll continue his life story. Of course, if Bernard needs to go into his past to move through previous stages (trust vs. mistrust, etc.) then working with a mental health professional who uses psychodynamic, cognitive, or integrated approaches is necessary.
Otherwise, for simplicity, he's dealing with this one conflict in early adulthood even though he is 45 years old. That's fine, let's normalize that he has others to relate to (self-compassion)! Now, he needs to break his routine keeping him stuck. One way to do that is to find social environments to explore that cause some level of discomfort. If there is felt anxiety that is causing barriers, then begin in comfort zones, and make small, achievable goals to increase distress tolerance in uncomfortable social settings.
This first step is important and effective because:
It can expose someone to different personalities they've never experienced. We want to ask, "What if I don't like it?"; however, I challenge you to apply the mindset of, "What if I do like it and it works out best case?".
Apply previous virtues/self-growth to achieve this. Use the hope, will, competence, etc. developed already through successful stage accomplishments.
2. Use It as a "Life Outline"
What I love about this second step is that it is all about self-love and compassion. Use Erikson's eight stages to not only prepare for what is to come but to celebrate how far you have developed and what you've earned in your personality!
Additionally, during childhood, when we, as adults, realize our primary caregivers met our needs, tried their best to, or sacrificed something important for us to move forward in our stages, the feeling of gratitude is a magical bond that can strengthen, repair, and nourish family systems. On the other hand, if you realize your needs were neglected outside of your control, then there is still a positive reframe I can offer your mindset; you can now begin facing it, healing from it, and moving forward. The most difficult part is coming to terms with the realities we've been avoiding or denying. Trust me, I understand as many humans do.
3. Apply Erik Erikson's Theory To Your Conscious Parenting
Why keep this theory within your life and control? Apply it as a psychoeducational parental guide to helping your offspring develop! Remember how I mentioned that during childhood most things are outside of our control and we are navigating resources we are provided from birth? Well, to add to the complexities of this powerless feeling as a child, we are learning what is within our control, so we aren't even aware of the choices we can apply to achieve an outcome (we base this assessment on our learned social experiences).
So, if you are noticing a potential arrest in your child's development, that is a sign to lean in and listen to their needs. After they feel heard and that their message was safely received, step outside of your perspective for a moment and develop an empathetic understanding of living life in your child's shoes.
Next, include your child in exploring options for hiring a professional within the scope of their need to follow through on your nurturing and support to build trust and repair ruptures in the relationship, if needed.
In conclusion, Erikson's theory is a psychological way to organize your life's narrative. It provides a way to simplify complex situations and choices that may be freezing personality development. Trust me, we can all actively use this (and, no surprise, I do!).
Author, Ashley Lynn Simon, MS
May 9, 2024
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